Daily Archives: 3/31/2005
Terri at Rest — Finally
| 3/31/2005 | Posted by Patti under Canadian News |
Terry Shiavo has died. I think the greatest tragedy about this oh so public death is that we, humans, are forced to allow those we love and care about struggle through to the last possible breath before they can find the peace and dignity in death that we grant animals. It is an act of mercy and compassion to relieve the suffering of our animal friends but an act of murder to do so for a person.
When are we going to advance to the point that we grant people the same compassion?
Almost 16 years ago I sat beside my late husband’s bedside and watched helplessly for hours as his body ever so slowly suffocated him. He had expressed to me weeks before that he was ready and wanting to go, to gain relief from the inevitable that was stalking him, his death. Yet, there I sat and no one, me nor the medical people surrounding me could do a thing except wait, forcing him to gasp towards his last.
In my younger and more niave time that was then, I was horrified when Frank had told me he just wanted it to be over. I felt he was acting with cowardice towards life. I know now I was wrong, he was acting with great courage — the courage that it takes to accept your fate and look towards it arriving. There was no faint hope for him, he had advanced heart disease. He knew and accepted that.
In his mind, his ‘life’ had ended when he became debilitated enough to become dependent on me and others for basic care. After that he was in a limbo, waiting for it to end. Myself, I didn’t have my husband’s courage at that time. When the nurse approached me to ask about resuscitation wishes that night I looked at her like she was asking me a very stupid question and told her all possible means were to be used. It wasn’t until another nurse gently told me that Frank’s lungs were shutting down along with the rest of his body that I finally admitted that I had to let him go as he wanted to go… peacefully.
It took great courage and fortitude for Micheal Shiavo to make that decision to honour what he believed were his wife’s wishes. In the face of the family and public opposition he was subjected to , a lessor person would have retreated and allowed others to take control. To allow others to sentence Terri to an existence she reportedly didn’t want.
I talked with a friend last night who was angry at the feeding tube being removed. She spoke of the agonizing death by starvation which resulted. She has an idea of what she spoke of, she’s worked in hospices. I can’t and wont disagree with her that dying by starvation is a rotten way to die. My anger isn’t that the feeding tube was removed, my anger is that it was the only way to honour what was reportedly Terri’s wishes.
Feet Go the Mile
| 3/31/2005 | Posted by Patti under General |
Follow Me!